Blaming keeps you stuck, whereas understanding and forgiveness frees you up.
“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who’s right and who’s wrong……” – Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart
We can practice mindfulness by slowing down, recognizing our strong emotional feelings (i.e. anger, blame, criticism, etc.) and choose not to over react. Breathing and quieting down enough to make the next best decision. Metaphorically you “keep on paddling”.
A “tireless debate” is when both parties are embroiled in an argument that is not productive, and moving farther from resolution. Just saying out loud “this is a tireless debate”, causes both parties to breath and recognize that a less confrontive approach may help to achieve resolution.
Many a partner/spouse’s tireless debates can be avoided by remembering the Alcoholics Anonymous proverb: